Elliefly

  it has been quite a while since I posted,  Just been having trouble coming up with things to write lately.  Perhaps it is because I have been feeling better or maybe just the pressure to come up with something good to talk about.  I have been thinking a lot about how fragile life is.  We are not promised tomorrow.  I know this better than anyone.  One minute I was kissing my baby goodbye to go to work and the next she was gone.  In an instant my life changed forever.  It happens everyday.  Like the 2 girls who lost their lives last week that went to Preble High School.  I am sure their parents kissed them goodbye in the morning and never thought that at the end of the day their lives would be changed forever.  And the tornadoes that ripped through America’s midsection devastating cities and towns and changing lives forever.  One of my good friends lost most of her belongings and a car and still has the faith in God to keep on going.  I have just been frustrated with the fact that some people in the same situation as her are taking advantage of the situation for their own personal gain.  Her mother in law has refused to help them replace anything they have lost even though her insurance company is giving her money to replace their things and people have been giving her mother in law for money to give to my friend and her family and her mother in law has kept it for herself.  I guess my point is that bad things happen to all of us.  Our lives can change in a flash or the blink of an eye.  But we are given a choice.  We can deepen our faith and hold on to God when bad things happen or we can take advantage of situations and turn from him.  I hope you all pray tonight and thank God for all the good in your life.  Since Ellie has passed I have never felt closer to him.  People are all to happy to go to him when life is good but what happens when the going gets tough.  Think about it……….

     Since I was a little girl I have always loved butterflies.  They were always around me but I took them for granted.  Never really paid much attention to how many different kinds there were or anything. Really the only ones that I really remember seeing were the Monarchs.  I think a lot of us take God’s beautiful things around us for granted.  A few days before Ellie died her and Paul were outside and found a butterfly that had a damaged wing.  Paul had it in his hands and showed it to Ellie.  They called me outside to look at it and the butterfly flew away.  At the same time the sun was shining down on our little house.  Have you ever seen one of those sunsets where the rays of sun shine down on you through the clouds???  Well I had always wanted to see one of them and get a few pics of it.  So I did.  In the meantime Paul and Ellie were looking for the butterfly and they found it under Paul’s truck.  I did get to see the butterfly that day. 

     2 days later Ellie died.  It was a long long day that Friday the 13th of July.  We did not go home that night.  I just couldn’t.  I spent a few days at my best friend’s mom’s house.  Paul went home first.  He told this story at her funeral but for those of you who don’t know he was sitting outside and the butterfly landed on him,  The same kind of butterfly that Ellie and he had seen a couple days before.  For a few weeks after it followed him everywhere.  We went to Door County and it was there.  It was literally everywhere he went.  Thus the red admiral butterfly has become known as Elliefly to us.  I believe God sent Paul that butterfly to comfort him and it did.  The butterfly took on a new meaning in our home.  I started watching them more.  A couple of years ago I really got into taking pictures of them.  I believe that God sent a lot of them to me.  I think I counted over 20 different kind of butterflies that summer.  When Ellie’s birthday came Elliefly came to visit me.  I don’t know how to explain it but up until that summer Elliefly would always fly away when I would get anywhere near.  They seemed to like Paul but that day she sat on my coneflower for a good hour and just let me take pictures on her.  It was amazing and the rest of the summer I had all sorts of butterflies who seemed to have no fear of me let me take their photos too.  They really are incredible little creatures that seem to appear when you need them the most.  Just another one of God’s wonders.  

     I am so looking forward to summer this year.  For one thing last year I had a lot of problems and did not have a very enjoyable summer.  There were not a lot of butterflies around me last year.  I think God knew I could not enjoy them.  Here’s to hoping that he sends them to me this summer. I hope that you take the time to enjoy them as well.  When you do I hope you remember my little Angel and smile….

   You know this post is gonna be different than the rest of them.  After Ellie died we had a huge outpouring of people who wanted to help us.  Mostly with money.  We received way more than we needed for the funeral and living expenses of taking off of work and everything else.  There was no way in good faith that I could keep all of that money for myself.  So we decided with the help of my brother-in-law to start Ellie’s Fund.  After starting the fund we received even more donations from people.  I was amazed and humbled by the outpouring of love that we received.  I had a hard time deciding what to do with the money.  I started researching Memorial Gardens and I was hooked.  Told my mom and she took the reigns.  We had a fundraiser and everything and then we got donated land, flowers, etc.  We decided that Elliana’s memorial butterfly garden would be at Pamperin Park.  It was exciting and with the tireless work of my wonderful mother we finally got it all done.  This will be the 3rd season for the garden and I was so looking forward to it because everything was growing beautifully and it was gonna be so much better this year.  

  Last weekend my brother-in-law was disc golfing at the park only to find that snowmobiles had trampled all over our garden.  I know the flowers are dormant this time of year but some of them grow on the old wood and would have kept growing and now they have to start from the ground again.  It is very frustrating that people have no respect for what was done to beautify a park, remember a little girl, and to give people somewhere to go to reflect on their loved ones they have lost.  I know this has been a weird winter and they usually would stay on the creek and not bother my garden but this year the water was open in parts and they had to trample on my garden.  My husband wanted to put up a fence and I wanted it to stay more organic.  But now we will be putting up a fence.  I just wish that some people could be more respectful to things.  We won’t be able to see the damage that was really done until spring.  Hopefully our sprinklers are still ok.  I am so upset.  Sorry to go to my blog and complain but I did this for the community. I am just glad we have not put any of the memorial bricks in there yet because they could have gotten ruined also.  

   Today I guess my message is to respect things. Respect each other and their opinions.  Respect your spouse and your kids.  Respect the world around you.  God granted us the beauty in this world and we should not be so careless to people and things.  We only get one chance to live our lives….:(